I'll Fix Your Feng Shui

Yesterday, Holly and I decided that it was about time that our little apartment had a bit of a face-lift to give it some new life. We were getting kind of tired with the way that the furniture was arranged and things, so we spent the time when we were not at work moving all sorts of things around. I love to rearrange my furniture on a regular basis because otherwise I start to feel like everything is beginning to go stagnant.

Now that we are finished we just have to save up some money to get the two chairs that we want to complete the living room the way that we want it. We have been struggling since we moved in to have enough seating for everyone when they come over for things like American Idol or to watch movies. Most of the time everyone winds up sitting on the floor which is not the most comfortable of places to sit seeing as how it feels like sitting on concrete with a thin layer of paper over the top. There is a lot more space in the living room with how the furniture is now put and we spent a LONG time yesterday sorting through old boxes and files and corners to find things we could either give away to DI, or that could just be thrown away. I think in the end we filled up four or five trash bags worth of trash and two more worth of things to go to DI.

The best thing about the entire project was that we had some fun while doing it and got a lot more done that we thought we would. It also eases my mind to know that a large portion of the things that were bothering me because they didn't get sorted through when we moved in are now taken care of. I would also be remiss if I didn't mention that I am a much bigger fan of my office now than I was before this project was undertaken. Now things are in the right places and the stuffed animals and Elvis memorabilia are all together instead of in four different buckets scattered throughout the closets.

Talk About A Drag

I could really use not to be sitting in my Family Life 100 class at the moment. I'm pretty much done with talking about depressing subjects every time I come. I think that one day of talking about abuse would be plenty and now we should focus on how to actually BUILD a happy family, not tear one apart.

Yesterday I got lots of things done even though from first glance many folks would probably say that the house doesn't look any different, it does to me. The laundry is finished and just needs the last load to be folded, the dishes got done and now there is only a handful from dinner last night to take care of, I got lots of homework done and plan on doing the same today, and on top of all that I got a good night of sleep. I wish I could sleep like that more often, but chances of that are slim.

Holly has a birthday this coming Friday and I have been working on some plans, but she wants to know all of them now and not wait until her actual birthday. Luckily for me I will not bend to the pressure and she'll have to wait until the actual day to find out my magnificentoulous plans.

Minor Reflections

Students elections have begun this week on campus and due to the connections I have with one of the candidates running for office I guess I already know who I need to vote for out of loyalty. The campus paper is going to be flooded with complaints about the ridiculous nature of the campaigns all week long which means there won't be anything worthwhile for me to read each day but I can live with that. I might care more about what these candidates have to say if the BYUSA organization ever did anything that mattered to me. I am all for the parties they throw (if I went to parties) or the new syllabi on the website (if I cared that much about the professor's I sign up for) or the number of clubs available on campus (if I was social enough to ever actually join one of them). The BYUSA program won't ever effect me in a way that I pay attention to, so I don't really care about what the candidates have to say, I'm just doing my job as a loyal friend. I am fully aware that they do make a difference in some circles and that they do make improvements to the way of life for BYU students but I refuse to accept that those improvements matter to more than a few individuals here and there. Maybe if the BYUSA President was actually a student body president (I still don't understand why BYU doesn't have one of those) then I would care a little bit more. As it stands however, they don't do much more than organize service projects and I have to say that I have better things to deal with than that in my life at the moment.

I'm back to school this week and will admit that I was starting to get a little bit of cabin fever while spending four straight days in the apartment. I would have enjoyed the time more if I had been able to accomplish anything, but the nastiness of my sickness prevented me from doing anything other than lounging around feeling sorry for myself. Holly deserves and award for kindly dealing with my personality while sick. I don't wish that on anyone. Several days off of school and work have left me with a long list of things to do over the next few days and I'm glad that I seem to have the motivation to cross things off of that list for today at least. Tomorrow may be another story, but today is looking good so far.

This coming Wednesday marks the next floor hockey game for me to participate in and now that the teams have been properly ranked according to skill-level for the various tournaments I am looking forward to the challenge of playing goalie this week. The team finally figured out how to move properly on the offensive side of the court during the last game and while it may not be as easy next time around because we will more than likely play other guys and not girls; I think it was a large benefit to the team. Now my only worry is that with almost two and a half weeks off from playing goalie with any kind of pressure I may not be up to par during the game. Nothing to do about it but wait and see I suppose.

I returned to working one night a week at the SAS Custodial last Friday and have had mixed emotions about the experience. On one side I definitely can handle the kind of custodial work they do over there much better than I can the kind done in the dorms where I currently work, but at the same time the SAS Supervisor is not exactly the easiest person to get along with. Helaman Halls Custodial allows me to come home at 4 o'clock every day during the week and spend time with my wife which is something the SAS didn't allow, but the co-workers at the SAS are of a far better quality than those at Helaman Halls. In the end I guess I don't really care which one I work at as long as I get paid and find a way to get my 20 hours each week, but I would greatly prefer finding a new job that doesn't require me to pick up after other people all day long; especially not immature college students who I am positive are much worse than the ones I lived with in the dorms four years ago. The world really is going downhill with no sign of relief.

That's all my thoughts for today. I was feeling a bit reflective this morning and decided to comment on a few of life's interesting adventures.

English Is A Crazy Language

English is the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet, used in some way by at least one out of every seven human beings around the globe. Half of the world's books are written in English, the majority of international telephone calls are made in English, and more than seventy percent of international mail is in English. English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the world's languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race.

Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that English is a crazy language.

There is no butter in buttermilk, no egg in eggplant, no grape in grapefruit, neither pine nor apple in pineapple, neither peas nor nuts in peanuts, and no ham in hamburger. To make matters worse, English muffins weren't invented in Englad, French fries in France, or Danish pastries in Denmark. Sweetmeats are candy, while sweetbread, which isn't sweet, is made from meat.

Language is like the air we breathe. It's invisible, inescapable, indispensable, and we take it for granted. But when we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, public bathrooms have no baths, tomboys are girls, midwives can be men, silverware can be made of plastic and tableclothes of paper.

And why is it that a writer writes, and a stinger stings, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, hammers don't ham, and humdingers don't humding? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth? One goose, two geese--so one moose, two meese? One index, two indices--one Kleenex, two Kleenices?

Doesn't it seem just a little loopy that we can make amends but never just one amend; that we can never pull a shenanigan, be in a doldrum, get a jitter or a heebie-jeebie; and that sifting through the wreckage of a disaster, we can never find just one smithereen? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but one, what do you call it? If the teacher taught, why isn't it true that the preacher praught? If a horse-hair mat is made from the hair of horses and a camel's-hair coat from the hair of camels, from what is a mohair coat made? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway? Recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? In what other language do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess?

Did you ever notice that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown, met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly peccable?

Still, you have to marvel at the unique lunacy of the English language, in which your house can simultaneously burn up and burn down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it relfects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't really a race at all). That is why, when stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this essay I end it.

Condensed from Crazy English by Richard Lederer.