Pressure

If this is what happens every time I get sick for a week, I pray that I never get sick again during my life. Four days of missed class, no homework, and no work makes my life miserable. I wasn't expecting to wind up so terribly far behind in all of my classes. Even after looking at all of the syllabi I still don't understand how it happened to me, but I suppose there isn't much use in complaining about it.

I have a very important test on Monday morning and I'm still terrified that I'm not going to be prepared for it. I completely bombed the first half of the test last Wednesday. I've been trying my best to get all of my catch-up done in every other class so that I can concentrate on this test 100% over the weekend. So far I am all up to speed in HEPE and English 195, but German still needs a little bit of work. My Family Life 100 paper is finished, so I do not need to think about it anymore except to remember to turn it in on Tuesday. As of when I post this entry I will be able to do nothing but focus on the test for the rest of the weekend, but we'll see how well I do at that. I'm exceptionally bad at doing my homework on time, even with a full load of easy classes this semester.

March Madness began yesterday and thankfully two of the games actually wound up interesting. Holly was thrilled that she was the only person in our Facebook pool to pick Virginia Commonwealth University to beat Duke University in their opening round game. I thought Duke would win at least one before bowing out, but it turns out that Holly's instincts proved correct. VCU won it on a last second shot to give the NCAA's it's first dose of excitement all day. BYU vs. Xavier was also close and came down to the last second but unfortunately the result was not what I wanted. Xavier pulled out the win and moves on to face Ohio State, so they won't be around much longer anyways. I've always enjoyed the NCAA Tournament for some reason and this year I'm even more interested because I've been following a few of the teams more closely than before.

Yesterday I handed out another $500 to Firestone Auto Repair to fix the coolant system, thermostat and water pump on my Saturn. What I don't understand is how my father who owned the car before me could own it for 2 years and never have any problems but as soon as he signs the title over to me everything breaks. I'm getting tired of paying for it, and I'm getting even more tired of having to ask my father for money to help and fix it. It's not his fault though, and in all actuality it isn't my fault either. I make as much money as I can it just so happens that the car made the decisions to be uncooperative for the last six months.

This week I've finally resigned myself to the fact that I really, really, really don't like my job, but there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm tired of cleaning dormitory bathrooms and warehouse floors. I want a job where I don't have to wear rubber gloves for hours and can sit down at a desk from time to time. All of that is too much to ask though seeing as how nobody on this campus feels like giving you a job without previous experience. So it looks like I'm stuck in a dead-end custodial job until graduation. I don't like it and I'm not going to pretend that I do anymore. Especially since I can't seem to work the hours that I want to anyways.

I'm sure everyone will tell me that I need to stop beating myself up about everything and that I will turn things around soon, but I don't want to turn things around, I want inconvienient things to stop happening to me and I want something to go the way I want it to for a change. Finding a new job for example.